This post has been bouncing around in my head for a good three days now, and I'm still not sure of the right words. I have so much up in this little head of mine that it all makes sense until I go to write it or speak it. Then I get stuck. And that's a bummer because I can't sort it all out if I can't get it all out. So here goes my attempt at making sense after a week (or 1.5 weeks) off from writing...
It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are -- e.e. cummings
Like tests in school or red crayons in the crayon box, growing up is one of those things that you can't avoid. It happens to all of us whether we like it or not. Ready or not? Life keeps moving and inevitably we grow up. But there is a difference between growing up because life is pushing you there and growing up because you are ready. I think that to a certain extent, it is both of those for everyone. Some people tend to lean towards the first option and others lean towards the second. Right now I'm trying to figure out where I lean.
I like to think I have courage. But really, who wants to think they are a coward...? So maybe I have no clue. But I know that I want to teach. I want to be a teacher. That seems simple enough right? But what if that's not enough? What if I want to be more?
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I really, really do.
Sometimes, I think that my wanderlust comes from my desire to stay "young" or from my cowardice in growing up and becoming who I really am. I think cummings had a pretty good idea of what he was talking about.
I think in life we get to comfortable in the comfort zone and we are scared to move on to something different. Sure it is easy to say you are going to run away to Europe to with nothing but a backpack but please tell me the statistics on how many people who say that, actually go.
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So here's to new beginnings and pushing yourself to grow up and be courageous.
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