On Lying

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Lying is a tough thing.  And it never ends well, for anyone involved.  But lying tends to be easier to overlook when it is small things, things that don't directly affect us, or things that we didn't realize were a lie in the first place. But most of the time, lying just sucks.

Whenever you tell one lie, you have to tell another.  And then you have to keep up with the lies and tell more to cover your tracks.  It makes you sick inside, it makes you lost and confused, and it makes you lose sight of who you are.

But it actually isn't all about you.  It's about the people around you.  The ones who you have lied to.  The ones are who left with the consequences but didn't get to make the choice.  And I think that's the hard part.

I am currently dealing with a lie.  One that is threatening a big part of my life.  One that I didn't create, that I wasn't aware of until yesterday.  And when I was told, I was in shock (and I think I still am).  The consequences have left me feeling sick.  But at the same time, they haven't.

I was taught from a young age that lying is bad and that you should avoid it.  I believe in the truth, at all times even when it hurts. And I believe that people can recover from the truth better than they can recover from lies.  I hold true to trust and promises; I believe people when they tell me something.  Most people say this makes me naive but I believe it makes me who I am.

And yet, here I am still sure that I love this person.  Still sure that I won't let this effect me like it is supposed to.  Am I still scared and sad? Of course.  But I am also relieved.  I cannot explain it right now because this all just happened at once and I haven't fully wrapped my head around it.  I know the feelings and emotions that I am supposed to be displaying and feeling.  And I am, but I am also feeling calmer than I should.

Lies are a funny thing.  They take your world and shake it around a bit.  You can't really tell which way is up anymore and you certainly can't tell who you should trust.  But you still know who you love.  And you still know where you come from.  And you still know everything that you were taught.

I was taught to love people.  And to really truly love them.  I was taught about trust.  I was taught about unconditional love. I was taught that your family will always have your back.  So that is what I am feeling.  Deep down, a part of me is broken right now.  But I still love my family, all of them.  And while I do not condone lying, I also don't condone shutting people out.

Everyone makes mistakes.  Life is about taking those mistakes and learning from them.  It is about realizing what is important and what is not. Life is about love.  And the unconditional love for your family.

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4 thoughts:

  1. I agree with this so much! Sometimes people always question why I give others second chances, but it's because everyone makes mistakes! (Including myself) I also am a firm believer in karma. I hope you are doing well, or at least getting there!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks so much!! I needed some time to really process everything, but I am getting better each day. I just wish it was easier to forgive people because I know they deserve it. I'm just so sad when I think about it too much :( But life goes on and time heals things!

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  2. you're a brave one, you are. your attitude about this whole thing is admirable. i am always so thankful and grateful when people forgive me and accept me after i have made some big mistakes. it's a good lesson to remember when you are the one having to forgive. hope all is well.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for your kind words! I am trying really hard to do the right thing. Forgiveness comes with time, so I am keeping an open mind and learning to trust myself on this one.

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