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Dear Home,

Please don't forget about me. In just a few shorts weeks, I will be packing my life into boxes and driving to a new state for a new start. But I will always call this place home--not the physical house but the location, the people, and the memories. In a few short weeks, I will leave behind the only life I have ever known.  I will no longer be within an afternoon drive from my family. I will be 10 hours away, with a different zip code, different area code, different state, and different surroundings. I will be in unfamiliar territory.

But these are not the things that worry me most. I worry that life will go on without me. As it obviously should; but that doesn't make it any easier.  I will miss birthdays, school events, and weekends at home.  I won't be around when someone needs a weekend sitter (be it for children or pets). I can't be the go-to person for pretty much anything. And that is really hard for me. I like to help people, I like to be involved. But I am choosing to remove myself from this position and start a life on my own.

I am excited for this adventure, but I long for home and I haven't even left yet. I long for that comfort. The way you feel when you finally arrive back home after traveling and you know where everything is and it is all yours. I long for my bed. I know that I will have a new bed and a new apartment, filled with things that will all become mine. But right now they don't exist and neither does that comfort when I think of them.

I hope that I always long to come home.  Not in the homesick kind of way, but in the way that I know this is where my heart is. I want to take my heart to North Carolina with me and I want to start my life there. But I also know that I will leave a part of myself here in New Jersey.

I never thought that I'd actually leave, but I'm glad that I am. I am proud of myself for getting to this point in my life and feeling confident enough that I can do it.

So, home, please don't forget about me. Let me always come back to you when I need to feel that comfort. But let me also find that comfort in my new home.

CONVERSATION

2 thoughts:

  1. This letter is amazing... it's so incredibly similar to how I think I'll feel if or when I ever decide to leave my hometown... the whole missing out on things, life moving on without you there, but also the excitement of the unknown, and trying to build another home somewhere else, and eventually having both those places be ones of comfort and safety and love :)
    Happy moving & safe travels - cheers to building that new start for yourself! Congrats :)

    Cat ♥ Cachoo Joo

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  2. this is very sweet and i totally feel you on this. i long for new adventures, but i also deeply value the life i have made for myself here in NC. it takes times for friendships and routines to settle and get deep so i hope and pray that you can find that here in your new home. it may take time but keep pressing on! there is beauty in the new. hit me up and i will meet you for coffee.

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