Figuring it out.

By Chandler - 2/20/2015

All my life I knew what I wanted to do.  I went through a brief phase as a child where I wanted to be a builder—I thought it’d be fun and I’d own a construction company with my boyfriend. Kindergarten was so easy—if only we’d know that then. And I went through another phase in high school where I wanted to be an interior designer. But most of my time was spent thinking about becoming a teacher—a first grade teacher to be exact. And now I have that job. I love it; don’t get me wrong.

I feel like I am missing my purpose though. I spent so much time working towards this goal and dedicating my life to becoming a teacher. Now I am one. And I love my first graders and I love my school—but I feel lost sometimes. I don’t have that goal that I am forced to work towards. I never thought about the after.

I’m a goal-oriented person. And without my next goal in place, I feel a little lost. So I’m trying to figure it out.

I love the education field and I am more than happy to dedicate my time to children. But I keep feeling like I am supposed to be doing more. Something is missing.

I have looked in Thailand and some teaching opportunities there. But something has stopped me from pursuing that—be it fear or something else. I’m not sure if that is next for me.

I have looked into a reading certification. I looked into it while I was still in school and I have looked at it again more recently. And while I would love to become a reading specialist, something is holding me back from that as well.

So I have decided to look outside of my career. Maybe my next goal isn’t suppose to be career-oriented. Maybe it is something more personal. Maybe it is about self-growth before I can set a new goal.

I have begun some reflective practices. I am figuring out my happy again. And I encourage others to do the same. When you find your happy, you can grow from there. So for right now I’m just figuring it out.

I’m figuring out my life. I’m figuring out my future. I’m figuring out my goals. But mostly I’m figuring out my happy again.

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