I was recently reading the words of Juli Wilson and I was in awe of how effortlessly she seemed to put into words the thoughts I have been struggling with.

I started this post at the end of last week because I was really torn up about some things that people were saying. Sometimes you hear people's perceptions of you and you can fix it. Sometimes you can't. Sometimes you just have to deal with their words in your head, and in your heart. I hate the saying, "sticks and stones my break my bones but words can never hurt me." I'm envious of the person who started that because they are obviously a stronger person than I am.

I didn't know what else to say or where to go with this post because really, that's it. It is simply that words hurt. Words are ugly and I was hurt. But today I found Juli Wilson's words and I was reminded that I am not alone.

Her post went something like this:

I don't know about you, but I would rather take a load of sticks and stones than to be the recipient of harsh words - or even worse, the topic of somebody's gossip session.

Words are powerful. They have the ability to inject life or death into a conversation. When we speak, we reveal our hearts. I pray that mine will reflect all things lovely, noble and true.

When they don't, because I know they always won't, I pray that I would allow the Lord to fix the junk in my heart. To erase the filth in my words. To make me sound like Him.

This week, I'm praying Psalms 19:14 and begging the Lord to transform not only my words, but my the darkest depths of my heart as well.

 After reading this, I immediately knew that I had the words to finish this post. I had the words all along, I just need some encouragement to let them flow.

We hear time and time again that if we don't have anything nice to say, we shouldn't say anything at all. I'm not going to sit here and pretend I am perfect. I am far from it. I have have done my fair shre of running my mouth about this person or that one. I don't always realize it at the time, but they are probably hurting because of my words. Just because someone does something to you, doesn't mean you should do it back.

I'm learning that being an adult is not that much different than being a child except for the responsibilities and needing to have a paying job. We still need to follow the same "rules" that give to children. We still need to be nice. We need to use kind words. When someone hurts us, we need to express that -- not hurt them back.

I just finished the first week of year two teaching first graders. I cannot count the number of times that I reminded my students to use kind words and to say they are sorry for hurting someone's feelings. At the end of the week, I am looking back and thinking that maybe I need to take my own advice. I need to use my words to build people up instead of tearing them down.

My goal for this week is to use kind words. That may sound silly and childish, but I think it is important. I didn't always use kind words this past week because I was hurting. I was upset with the way someone choose to perceive me and the words she used against me. I spent much of my week using words against her to other people. I don't like that I did that and I don't want to be that person.

Now I'm not saying that you need to shelf your emotions and get over it. Trust me, I'm not. I've been told that countless times and it just doesn't feel right. But what I am saying is that there are ways to deal with those feelings that are more productive than bringing someone else down. It's okay to be angry. It's not okay to be cruel.

Misery loves company, but we need to leave it alone.